Game review
Spice Pirates in Space: A Retro RPG
5.8 / 10
- Developer
- Robot Destroyer
- Publisher
- Robot Destroyer
- Released
- 3 December 2018
- Platforms
- Windows
- Genre
- RPG
- Monetisation
- One-time purchase, no DLC, no in-app purchases.
- Players
- Single-player only
The short version
Spice Pirates in Space bills itself, in the developer's own words, as "a legendary Space Opera? Perhaps. A silly oldschool RPG with dice instead of combat? Definitely." Captain Spice and a crew of misfits fly the Cool Ship across the galaxy trying to stop an evil Space Wizard, resolving encounters with dice rolls tied to upgradeable stats rather than traditional turn-based combat, and talking to a cast the store page describes as including a duck, a guy named Slappy, and a villain named Simon Tower.
There is no community verdict to weigh against that pitch. Steam records zero written reviews for this game, in any language, seven years after release — not a small or thin sample, an entirely empty one. What exists instead is Steam's own achievement-completion data: 23 achievements tracking story milestones, item finds and multiple distinct character-specific endings, with a real, measurable spread of players progressing through them. That's the only objective signal available, and this review leans on it, the developer's own description, and the game's screenshots rather than a reception that doesn't exist to report on.
Biggest strengths
- A distinctive core mechanic: encounters resolve through dice rolls tied to upgradeable character stats rather than conventional turn-based combat, a genuine point of difference for a budget RPG
- Self-aware comedic tone throughout the store description, promising a cast that includes a duck, an evil wizard villain, and NPCs the developer admits exist mostly for laughs rather than plot necessity
- Real, measurable evidence of completion: Steam's achievement data shows 23 tracked milestones, with the tutorial-completion rate at 59.4% and multiple distinct "win with [character]" achievements each sitting between 5.4% and 10.8% — evidence of several different playable paths or endings, not just one linear story
Biggest weaknesses
- Zero written Steam reviews exist for this game in any language, which means there is genuinely no outside verdict, positive or negative, to check this review's read against
- A "Died" achievement sitting at 27.0% completion suggests failure is a real, fairly common outcome rather than a rare edge case — worth knowing if you'd rather not risk a run ending early
- Achievement completion falls off sharply toward the true endgame — the rarest "win with [character]" achievements sit at 5.4%, meaning very few of even the small player base who tried this game saw every ending
Who it's for: Players specifically drawn to short, dice-based comedy RPGs willing to buy on the strength of a charming pitch alone — this is not a game with any outside validation to point to.
Our recommendation: A near-zero-risk curiosity buy at NZ$2.49. There's no evidence to say it's bad, and real achievement data confirms people do play it to completion, but this is as close as this library gets to recommending on vibes and a low price tag rather than a verdict anyone else has reached.
5.8 / 10
Introduction
Spice Pirates in Space: A Retro RPG is a solo-developed comedy RPG from Robot Destroyer, released on Steam on 3 December 2018 for NZ$2.49. The premise, in the developer's own self-deprecating words: "A legendary Space Opera? Perhaps. A silly oldschool RPG with dice instead of combat? Definitely." Captain Spice and a small crew set out aboard the Cool Ship to stop an evil Space Wizard from destroying the galaxy, meeting a cast the store page promises includes a duck, an NPC named Slappy, a lengthy conversation with a flautist, and a villain called Simon Tower. "This game has it all," the description says, before adding: "I made it myself and it is not a AAA game. It costs less than a beer and hopefully you enjoy it almost as much!"
An honest gap in the record
Most reviews in this library are built by reading what a substantial community of players has already said. This one can't be, because there isn't one to read: Steam records zero written reviews for Spice Pirates in Space, in any language, more than seven years after release. That's not a thin sample this review is stretching to cover fairly — it's an empty one, and it changes what this review can responsibly claim. Nothing here should be read as "players say," because no players have said anything, publicly, on the platform.
What does exist is more useful than it might sound: Steam's global achievement-completion data. Twenty-three achievements track tutorial completion, story milestones across named locations (Robbers, Schnoop, Moon, Quaze, Montefari), item discoveries, and — notably — several distinct "win with [character name]" achievements, each sitting in a narrow 5.4%–10.8% band. That spread is a real, if indirect, signal: it suggests multiple viable characters or endings rather than one single path, and it confirms that a genuine, if small, group of players saw the game through to completion rather than the achievement data being a ghost town.
The pitch itself
Combat resolves through dice rolls tied to upgradeable character stats rather than a conventional turn-based system — a distinctive enough mechanic that it's worth calling out as the game's real point of difference from other budget retro RPGs. An "AdjustedBothStats" achievement, sitting at 8.1% completion, suggests there's at least some meaningful stat-allocation decision-making involved rather than pure random chance. A "Died" achievement at 27.0% completion is also worth flagging plainly: roughly a quarter of the tracked player base has experienced a failure state, which is useful context for anyone going in expecting a purely comedic, low-stakes romp.
The tone throughout the store description leans hard into deliberate absurdity and self-awareness — "What more could you ask for?" the developer writes, after listing a duck and a flautist conversation as selling points. Screenshots show plain, unpolished retro-style visuals consistent with a genuine solo project rather than anything aiming for production polish, which tracks with the honest, low-key framing of the whole listing.
Verdict
Spice Pirates in Space: A Retro RPG is a two-dollar-and-change comedy RPG that nobody has publicly reviewed, built by one developer who is upfront about exactly what it is and isn't. The dice-based combat is a genuine point of interest, the achievement data confirms real players have finished it through multiple paths, and the price makes a wrong guess cost almost nothing. There's no community verdict to lean on here, positive or negative — only a charming pitch, some hard completion numbers, and a very low bar for regret if it isn't for you.
Pros and cons
Pros
- A distinctive core mechanic: encounters resolve through dice rolls tied to upgradeable character stats rather than conventional turn-based combat, a genuine point of difference for a budget RPG
- Self-aware comedic tone throughout the store description, promising a cast that includes a duck, an evil wizard villain, and NPCs the developer admits exist mostly for laughs rather than plot necessity
- Real, measurable evidence of completion: Steam's achievement data shows 23 tracked milestones, with the tutorial-completion rate at 59.4% and multiple distinct "win with [character]" achievements each sitting between 5.4% and 10.8% — evidence of several different playable paths or endings, not just one linear story
- Extremely cheap at NZ$2.49, with no DLC or purchases beyond the base game
Cons
- Zero written Steam reviews exist for this game in any language, which means there is genuinely no outside verdict, positive or negative, to check this review's read against
- A "Died" achievement sitting at 27.0% completion suggests failure is a real, fairly common outcome rather than a rare edge case — worth knowing if you'd rather not risk a run ending early
- Achievement completion falls off sharply toward the true endgame — the rarest "win with [character]" achievements sit at 5.4%, meaning very few of even the small player base who tried this game saw every ending
- Screenshots show plain, era-appropriate retro visuals with no particular production polish — a fair trade at this price, but worth setting expectations around
- The developer's own November 2018 news post floated "possible live action cutscenes" before launch; nothing in the current store listing or available material confirms whether that feature made it into the shipped game
Screenshots
-
Spice Pirates in Space: A Retro RPGImage: Robot Destroyer via Steam -
Spice Pirates in Space: A Retro RPGImage: Robot Destroyer via Steam -
Spice Pirates in Space: A Retro RPGImage: Robot Destroyer via Steam -
How the review scores each part of the gameWanderer Editorial -
The essentials at a glanceWanderer Editorial -
The short versionWanderer Editorial